You don’t know you’re porn

What’s all this about deepfakes? We can’t move lately for the sinister imagery that accompanies this ubiquitous news item designed to make baby boomers put down their Oat So Simple.

While the likes of Reddit and Tumblr have gone to lengths to banish the phenomenon, there’s one company trying to destigmatise and even monetise a perceived appetite for AI that superimposes people into porn.

Naughty America believes deepfakes can be harmless fun, and even posits all forms of entertainment will rely on this kind of personalisation in the future. To which, we only say, “why?”

While we’d transfer all our money to a company that does the direct opposite of Naughty America (edits us out of every awkward coital encounter we’ve already suffered), the thought of being digitally placed into any more of these situations during this already mortifying existence sounds like some kind of sick joke.

Plus, if nothing else, it’s taking credit for other people’s hard work. Every mollycoddled ne’er-do-well seeking slap and tickle with their favourite porn star should first be flown out to Hollywood to meet the dead-eyed, gym-bound, struggling actor they think they’ve earned the right to replace and personally find them a solid supporting role in a good, honest Netflix original drama.