The life of macro

Kanye West’s recent Twitter meltdown, in which he professed his love for Donald Trump, has seen many fans turn on him, but our interest lies more with his denunciation of Microsoft Excel.

The erratic series of tweets was littered with enthusiastic musings such as him and the president sharing something he calls “dragon energy”, which is bound to result in people wondering if everything is all right with our sample-abusing saviour.

In with all the grandstanding about these big ideas he thinks he’s so special for having, summoning Tim Cook to meet him and discuss them like some nightmarish modern-day reincarnation of Elvis Presley asking the US government if he can be a special FBI agent, is a call for everyone to burn their Excel spreadsheets. And we must draw a line there, because that’s just totally unreasonable.

Yet it’s also completely understandable. To pretend you’ve never had a weird outburst dealing with a macro error on a grid you’ve long lost control over is more childish than expecting the world to be in awe of trainers that look like Joseph Merrick’s head.

Nonetheless, Yeezy needs to understand that doesn’t mean we can just do away with Excel. He says he can’t be managed, like that’s a good thing, but Tim’s going to need to see some figures for all these highfalutin plans, and even he doesn’t use Numbers.