The importance of binning idols

The art of 3D printing has suffered a setback in Kuwait, after pressure from hysterical clergymen forced the closure of its local Doob 3D store with accusations of idolatry.

The company offers a service that creates toy models of its customers using 3D-scanning technology, and having looked at the results, we were slightly crestfallen to learn it doesn’t have a store in London. Who wouldn’t love a cute little figurine of themselves? Especially since one of its fiercest critics, radical cleric Othman al-Khamis, has planted the idea it could one day be found by future generations and worshipped. You what? That sounds amazing!

Search this guy’s name, though, and you’ll find he isn’t someone to be listened to. He condones slavery and domestic violence – and doesn’t even agree with Photoshop, which in itself rules him out of ever featuring in one of our glossy CIO interviews.

Who let this clown do Kuwait City residents out of a 3D laugh? When you consider the intense detail to which this generation documents itself, you’d have to be so dumb to believe anyone in 3018 might be confused about anything us lot got up to – let alone worship us. We all know they’ll be teleporting these objects to each other as kitsch door stops on their fancy new eBay, and it’s so obvious what they’ll be doing with our holy books. Grow up.