The hybrid sessions

There’s been some excitement around the inaugural virtual House of Commons sessions, which essentially comprise some MPs social distancing in the chamber while others can be viewed on several screens around the room as they phone it in from home.

Some of the fascination surely comes from the Commons’ use of Zoom, a service that might be a household name since the dawn of our apocalyptic biweekly quiz participation reality, but is lacking in reputation for watertight security. No such incident has occurred as yet, but when will we see the first ever Prime Minister’s Questions hijacked by a windmilling hacker, for example?

Those hoping to enjoy a spiced-up Parliament might not even have to wait for the UK’s intricate Zoom labyrinth to be breached. If Lib Dem MP Jamie Stone not even waiting a few days to start wearing jammies from the waist down is anything to go by, the chamber will soon play host to more misplaced tackles than one of Boris Johnson’s Japanese junior rugby matches.

Stone has now forced us to imagine the worst of what lies beneath every desk of every remote MP, a situation that’s frankly exacerbated when Parliament’s magisterial lingo invites members to submit their “oral questions”. You don’t get a name like Stephen Crabb for walking sideways.