The Disney resort

“There’s nothing more unpleasant than watching grown-ups joining in with TikTok.” The words of Downtime less than two months ago. But as the government furthers its restrictions on UK life, the zany video-sharing app has suddenly become a valuable part of our ever-expanding isolation survival kit. We wish we could say that’s the worst of it, but today we subscribed to Disney+.

“What kind of loser would subscribe to Disney+?” The words of Downtime just yesterday. But we’ve since learned it offers a seven-day trial and a whole 30 seasons of The Simpsons – albeit crudely stretched to fit a widescreen 16:9 aspect ratio.

But to complain about a bit of picture distortion on the cartoons we’ve been given during this wartime-style situation strikes us as rather la-di-da; like a 2001 Oman-stationed soldier taking in a free Geri Halliwell show and moaning about the sound.

Disney+ simply brings us Springfield’s residents in a squashed format reflective of the endless repetitive context they remain trapped in. Only online, through Steamed Hams memes, Marge Simpson Anime and Simpsonwave, have they taken on renewed meaning, and our isolation gives us the chance to do the same. It’s time to dive into cyber space and exist for each other in new dimensions: in reimagined, virtual ways. At least get TikTok, you boring old fart.