Siri, show me a threat to national security

Gavin Williamson unwittingly summoning Siri on his iPhone whilst updating Parliament on the fight against Daesh has marked him as national security’s weak link, which couldn’t really be any less appropriate in his line of work as the secretary of state for defence.

Information security expert Rodolfo Rosini branded Williamson’s offhand approach inexcusable for someone in his position, writing him off as “an easy target with no clue”.

This must all seem like a load of fuss about nothing for our freewheeling defence secretary, once managing director of fireplace company Elgin & Hall, where considerations such as handset microphone settings probably never came up once. All he had to do there was make sure people kept buying fireplaces – which, judging by the quality of some of the company’s elegant Tudor arches and sophisticated double-contoured mantel tops, must have largely taken care of itself.

Yet there he stood, in the House of Commons, talking about Syria as if Siri was to know he wasn’t drunkenly asking it for his kebab after another busy night boasting about nukes on Chatroulette and streaming The Interview from Putlocker. Mr Speaker called it “rum business”, and we all know what he meant by that.