Gov. U OK?

These times of ours, you might have heard, are being described as both “strange” and “unprecedented”. There’s also been some talk of a “new normal”, although while for some that means extra-long hours of high-risk, low-paid frontline labour, for many C-suite workers it just means one big piss-up.

Things are bound to slip a bit when fully paid-up members of the Naked Fine Wine Club are forced to carry out their daily roles with a pantry at such close quarters. It’s called human nature. Have you tried writing an email about strategy after a bowl of Cornflakes and Derringstone Pinot Meunier 2018?

At the same time, the indoorsy mischief makers of cyber space are yet to even notice the lockdown, and remain focused as ever on pulling down the pants of, say, whoever’s meant to be in charge of quality control for the government’s online supplier catalogue.

And so, Gov.uk’s Digital Marketplace has listed the made-up Fraud Consulting Limited, which, it says, “develops cloud-based online fraud solutions to target gullible consumers into parting with their cash, using payment gateways in Russia [and] routing funds through the Cayman Islands to facilitate payment to public sector customers through UK-based institutions untraceable to the fraudulent activities”. Bottoms up!