Get Huawei done

The BBC’s Dan Walker has sat down with Boris Johnson to probe him over all manner of hot topics, including the government’s decision to let Huawei build its 5G telecoms infrastructure.

Having dismissed a doting US dossier, this was Johnson’s chance to put our minds at ease. How would he allay his nation’s fears of potential espionage? Why, by saying: “If people oppose one brand or another, then they have to tell us what’s the alternative.”

And far be it from a Football Focus presenter to kick the tyres of a statement like that. That would require listing some names: we could arguably get Samsung in, for instance – or Fujitsu, Nokia, Ericsson or Cisco. But Walker left it, seemingly satisfied that Johnson’s only given reason for the UK’s controversial association with Huawei is that we don’t have anyone else’s number.

Maybe Walker thinks that’s all we cereal-grazing proles deserve. When a politician gets an overwhelming mandate to lead a country by comparing the General Election to Dyno-Rod, they know they’ll never have to bore us with many details. Johnson should have just broken the fourth wall and said: Oh, come on. Why would China spy on you? You’ll willingly bung us a bob to have Big Ben bong for Brexit and you love Ant and Dec. Does that about cover it? You’re not exactly opaque, are you. Now eat your 5G.